There were these three morticians talking about their greatest feats.
The first one says, "I had this soldier who stepped on a land mine. Took me three days to get him ready for an open casket funera!"
The next guy says, "Oh yeah? I had this construction worker fall 15 stories, then he got run over by a steam roller, but I had him ready for an open casket funeral in two days!"
The third guy sulks in the corner, "Man, both y'all got me beat. I had this lady parachutist who landed on the empire state building. It took me four days just to get the grin off her face."